Revelation

Today I received an email from Wonderful Waiting Kids.  An advocacy site for children in Ch*na with special needs who are waiting for their forever families.  This email was nothing new, as I signed up last year to receive them when we decided that God was leading us to adopt a child with a special need.

Today things are much different than they were 10 months ago, however.

Let me preface by going back...When one decides to adopt a special needs child, there is a list of special needs that you look over to decide what your family can "handle".  After all, this is about the children, and one needs to be careful to consider if you can provide the proper care that that particular child may need.  I remember discussing this with my social worker, and feeling terribly guilty...Terribly guilty that I would say "no" to a particular special need.  I remember wishing that I could say "yes" to a child in a wheel chair, for example, but feeling that we could not "adjust" our lives to properly care for that "type" of special need...

My...how things have changed...

My father in law is recovering from what the doctors called...and I quote..."a catastrophic stroke".  He was given 0% chance of recovery...We were told he would never be able to sustain life off of the ventilator...One week later he was breathing on his own...His stomach was not working...His digestive tract was not working...His kidneys were in failure...He was completely unresponsive...etc...etc...Now, all of those things are working...He is beginning to respond...He is moving...He is looking and tracking us with his eyes...He has turned his head towards people who were speaking to him...We even had the nurse tell us that when she walked into his room at the hospital Friday morning, his eyes were open and he was holding up his hand...So she greeted him, "Good morning, Mr. Richard!"  To her surprise, he mouthed back the response, "Good morning."  She documented it!

Fast forward to the present...We are now in my in law's home, taking care of my father in law...We do EVERYTHING for him.  We clean him, do trach care (which involves deep suctioning--not fun for us or my father in law). We give him his medicines through his peg, or feeding tube...Heck, I even give him his insulin shot every night.  He can't adjust himself so we move, or "turn" him every two hours...Yes...even in the middle of the night...All of these things now seem like small beans...No big deal...We got this and we are glad to do it for the man we love so much.

Where am I going with this, you may ask...

Well, back to the email about the Wonderful Waiting Kids...I was looking through the pictures of the precious little ones who are waiting for a family to call their own, and I came across a little girl who was in a wheel chair.  I was reading over her write up and it dawned on me...Almost a year ago, I didn't think I could properly care for a child in a wheel chair...I didn't think I could give a child with "that" special need what she needed because it would be "too much" for our family to handle...

Hmmmm....Look. at. me. now...I realized that caring for a child who simply did not have the use of her legs was NOTHING compared to what I am doing now...nothing...

It's amazing how life can change you into a person you never thought you had the strength to be...Well, I mean, don't get me wrong...I know God has played a HUGE part in that, because I don't credit myself with being a "strong enough" person without Him...It just simply wouldn't be.

At the moment of my epiphany today, I begin thinking about how many of these children do not get adopted because people are scared to "take on" a child in a wheelchair or a child with a special need that requires a "lifestyle" change.  I begin thinking about how I wouldn't hesitate now...I would think, "No big deal."  Yes...Yes, I would NOT hesitate...Because that's what you do for someone you love...You would do ANYTHING for your loved one...We have...And we would again...

"But, Brooke, you didn't choose this...You did it because you had to."  Oh no, my friend...We ABSOLUTELY chose this...We had a choice to "pull the plug".  We were HOUNDED 1/2 to death by the nurses and doctors to "pull the plug".  But we CHOSE to take this on...We chose to have a hope...To give life...

How many of these children have no one to choose life for them...Just because they have a special need that seems "too much" to take on...

My eyes have been opened...

Don't get me wrong...I'm CERTAINLY not trying to lay a guilt trip on anyone...Not at ALL...I am just sharing my epiphany...My, revelation, if you will...

I don't know what my future holds...I know that I will take every situation and use it for good and for the glory of God...That's what God does...

I was thinking about what I could do with the "training" that I have received to take care of my father in law...Maybe I could help on the mission field one day...or......Hmmmmmmm.....Who knows...

This I know for sure, my perspective has been FOREVER changed...And I can completely see caring for one of those precious little ones in a wheel chair and not thinking twice about it...